May 5, 2011

Raul Ibanez, End of an Era

Raul Ibanez finally ended his epic 0-35 slump two nights ago. He went on to hit this solo home run to right field in last night's game against the Nats. Had the slump continued, Raul could have beat out Bill Bergen's record for the longest slump among non-pitching players in baseball history. Bergen went 0-46 with the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1909. So yeah, it could have been worse, but not much worse. Raul ended up going 3-for-4 as the Phillies chugged Natty Lites and crushed the cans on their foreheads. Final score: 7-4.

Since the beginning of the Great Slump, a lot has happened. I, like many of you everyday people, filed my taxes and shortly after spent all of my returns on necessary beers and wings that helped with Flyers watchability. The southern United States experienced one of the worst tornadoes in US history, rendering many homeless and the Phillies Oswaltless. Phanatics witnessed the fall of Joe Blanton and the rise of Vance Worley. Oh yeah, and our country also found and killed Osama bin Laden! USA! USA! USA!

I'm just happy that the search for Raul's swing is finally over. Tonight let us rejoice in Rauuuul howls at the moon and hope that the man stays hungry and true to his at-bat music about British werewolves:


Raaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

James Generic said...

Of course, the fucking national media commentator was like "Oh, the Phillies fans are booing Raul Ibanez already." And then someone whispered something in his ear, and he was like, "Oh, actually they're just calling out his name."

Raaaaauuuuullllll

Ett said...

Lauren, you're my favorite sports writer!