To Dream the Impossible Dream

I've been thinking in numbers for months now. How many games would the Phillies have to win and the rest of the National League have to lose to make the dream of a wild card less impossible?

Thanks to the Marlins gettin' 'dricked  last night (along with errbody that has faced "Ace 38" lately), the Phillies are now five games back from that one-game wild card showdown at dusk. They've improved to 70-71 after taking 13 of the last 17 and winning their last five.

What's next, you ask? Two more games against Nadine's ex-boyfriend Greg Dobbs and the Tired of Fightin' Fish, a four-game series with the already eliminated Astros, and three games versus the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Muts. Then, it's make-or-break, baby, with the Braves at home. Well, maybe. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared.

While the Phillies have no room for error with a current 1.5 percent chance of making the playoffs, that old Phillies magic has been in the air lately. I sang "High Hopes" in the ballpark twice on Sunday. The doubleheader sweep of the Rockies included both a classic John Mayberry Jr. walk-off and the return of Chooch that, with the help of Phil Collins and his 2-for-2 bat, kept an entire stadium on its feet. One more round of beers, please. High fives all around. How could you not get a little high on Phillies hope? Even Scott Franzke was made a believer during last night's radio broadcast, saying to a hopeful LA, "Well, they've not been mathematically eliminated."

It's not over until it is, or something like that. I'm just happy that the Phillies are one away from being at .500 for the first time since June 4. All they need is:

Too little, too late, or is it? Ain't that what baseball's all about?

Charlie Manuel, Man of Mystery

I was wide awake at 5:30 this morning. I jumped out of bed, ran downstairs, and frantically began clicking through site after site hoping to find today's lineup somewhere. No cigar. All Uncle Cholly has revealed to the press - you know, the sports bloggers that matter, is the following:

"We've got a lineup. We have a left fielder, a first baseman, a second baseman, a catcher."

Today's lineup against the Pirates doesn't really matter all that much. It'll probably be John Mayberry Jr. or Ty Wiggington at first, Freddy Galvis (or is it Galveeees?) at second, and either Juan Pierre or Layce Nix in left field if Mayberry's at first. One thing that's certain outside of the Whos, Whats, and I Don't Knows is that Doc will return to the bump at 1:35 PM.

I'm just glad that the part of my brain that gave me fuzzy, nervous Christmas morning feelings as a seven-year-old still works. Baseball's so much easier to believe in.

Happy Opening Day!

This just in:

Breaking News: Mayberry Returns

The Phillies have recalled OF John Mayberry Jr. from AAA Lehigh Valley to fill the roster spot vacated by Vance Worley. The "Vanimal" (who's rocking a 0.72 ERA and sick bro-hawk since returning to the big leagues on June 16th) was optioned last night. Don't worry, kids, it's just to make sure he stays on his regular pitching schedule.

Tonight, Cole Hamels takes the mound against Chris Volstad and the Florida Marlins. Cole (9-4, 2.41 ERA) has been looking for his tenth win of the season since beating the Marlins on June 14th. Final Vote candidate Shane Victorino will not play tonight. Instead, he'll return to Philly to have a sore thumb looked at. Uh-oh.

Put Him In, Coach!

John Mayberry, Jr! What's not to love? That smile, that speed, that walk-off hit on opening day... He's everything a Phillies fan dreams of. And he's smart, too! In 2002, Mayberry was the highest-drafted player to elect to attend a four-year college instead of signing a contract—and that college was Stanford. Now, Mayberry is winning our hearts with a fantastic start to the 2011 season and a solid case for an everyday spot in the outfield.

At 6'6 and 27-years-young (hard to believe, I know—I would've guessed he was about 22), Mayberry has never had much of a chance to prove himself in the big leagues. Once a #19 pick overall, his minor league career was plagued by a high strikeout rate and inability to hit right-handed pitching. But he continued to make his case yesterday with a two-run homer off the right-handed Tim Hudson, plus two walks and a stolen base. In fact, Mayberry's performance was the only highlight of an otherwise lackluster game, a fitting end to a depressing weekend for the Phillies (full disclosure: I turned it off and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer instead). Okay, maybe making Mayberry an everyday player is risky, but with the current state of the corner outfielders and pathetic production from the bottom of the line-up, the Phillies don't really have much to lose. At best, he continues his promising beginning to the 2011 season—clutch hits, speed, charisma, and solid play in the outfield—and letting him start pays off big time. At worst, young Mayberry adds a little freshness and life to an aching, aging line-up. He looks hungry for a chance to play, like he's serenading Charlie Manuel with "put me in, coach!" from his spot on the bench.

While Charlie is known for his loyalty to his players (which explains sticking with Raul Ibanez throughout his epic slump this season), has Ben Francisco actually earned any of that loyalty? Francisco only won his job in right field this season because Dom Brown wasn't around and healthy enough to challenge him for it. Why shouldn't John Mayberry Jr. get that same chance? With Shane Victorino hurt, maybe he finally will. This could be his at-bat music:


Put him in, Coach!

The Phillies are Givin' Me Agita!

I don't know about the rest of you jabronis, but the Phillies have been givin' me agita! Apologies for the Italian-American slang, but I'm friggin' angry! (Fun fact: I actually grew up in the same place as the guy who made "agita" a thing. Here he is singing about it in the trailer for Woody Allen's Broadway Danny Rose.) After mercying some team called "Battitude Adjustment" last night, I rushed home from my softball game in Fairmount expecting to turn on the radio and hear my boys doing the same. Instead, the Padres had scored, the Phillies had not, and Polanco had two of the Phillies three hits. One beer later, the Phillies lost 4-0 with only three hits on the board.

I'm trying really hard right now not to make a joke about how the Phillies need a "battitude adjustment", but maybe that's exactly what they need. As good as our record is- 15-7, friggin' best in baseball, the "Fightins" haven't scored more than four runs in the last 14 games. Stone throwers like to blame Raul "Werewolves of London" Ibanez for not putting any English on it, but let's be honest. It's pretty much everyone. Even that lovable Chooch! I say bring back the "woo hoo" guy. We need somebody to hit, and everybody hitting? That would be awesome.

Or maybe Uncle Cholly should give John Mayberry Jr. another start in right field (see cleverly chosen photo) or at least some more at-bats. Pete Orr too! Both have batting averages higher than the starting lineup outside of Polanco. But, hey, what do I know? The only time I spend on a field is on Monday nights playing teams like "Battitude Adjustment" and some other team of old dudes that ate pizza on the sidelines and also fell victim to the mercy rule. That might not be much, but we're in first place too, and that's a first place based on bats. Go Flyers!

Everybody Hits! Woo Hoo!

Take a look at us now.

Baseball's back! For those who didn't catch the end of yesterday's game in a dingy pizza place across the street from work, the Phillies rallied for three runs in the bottom of the ninth to beat the Houston Astros in a great show of Opening Day April foolery. This is how it all went down:

Jimmy Rollins singled. Ryan Howard singled. Raul Ibanez popped out. Jimmy stole third. Ben Francisco singled. Chooch singled while Phil Collins' "Sussudio" played on the pizza place's radio. I began to dance in my seat with a slice of pizza (What is it about the Chooch/Phil Collins combo that's so darn magical?) Wilson Valdez doubled. Then John Mayberry Jr. slapped a hit to center with the bases loaded to complete the Phils' walk-off rally. Mayberry was pied and the entire city celebrated by slinging back beers in neighborhood bars.

Someone who probably didn't celebrate and ate his feelings in pizza while listening to a lot of Phil Collins was "relief pitcher" for the Astros Brandon Lyon who currently has a 81.00 ERA as a result of that beautiful ninth inning for the Phillies (1/3 IP, 6H, 3R). What a game!