This Just In: Professionals Still Somewhat Better Than Amateurs!

Baseball's back! In an exhibition game yesterday, the Phillies beat the Florida State Seminoles 6-1. The game was tied until the seventh inning which started with back-to-back hits by Pete Orr and Eric Kratz. Other highlights of the game included the first hit of the season for the Phillies by some dude named Tuffy Gosewisch, Hector Luna's two-run blast, and eight scoreless innings pitched by young arms hoping for AAA date cards. From the regular guys, Hunter Pence chimed in with a double in the fourth inning and Domonic Brown hit Big Truck's big truck during batting practice earlier in the day.

I know, I know. Exhibition games against college teams don't really matter to anyone outside of that young or old pitcher given a shot at the majors and the 2009 Manatee Community College baseball team that beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 6-4. I'm just happy to read a fresh box score.

Tune in this Saturday as the Phillies take on the Yankees who once played an exhibition game against my own hometown's heroes, the 1947 Waterbury Timers. It won't be '47 Phil Rizzuto, Yogi Berra, and Joltin' Joe or the '09 Manatees against Cole and the Gang, but it'll still be a good sneak peek of baseball to come!

Any predictions on who will be the team to beat in 2012? Greg Dobbs has already done J-Roll's whole "we're the team to beat" schtick which I'm pretty sure won't work twice. Leave it in the comments!

The Red Death

Patella tendinitis. Biceps tendinitis. Fractured hamate bones. Overextended elbows. Oh, how the mighty are falling.

Chase Utley's sidelined "indefinitely", Lights Out Lidge's arm went out, and Placido Polanco hurt his elbow swinging a bat in yesterday's win against the Toronto Blue Jays. This is looking all too familiar to the injury plague of 2010. Now that the oldest team in baseball has tacked on another year, it's just a matter of time before more hips and backs are thrown out. Even young and once hopeful prospect Domonic Brown hurt his wrist in his first spring training hit against the Pittsburgh Pirates, a team that makes money off of losing. The season hasn't even started yet, and the Red Death seems inevitable.

At least Life Alert, the "I've fallen and I can't get up!" company, might have found itself a valuable new market in the 2011 Phillies:

All Philadelphia Phillies should have Life Alert.

On second thought, maybe there needs to be a system in place that contacts Phillies fans every time a player gets injured - you know, to keep us all grounded.

Pumping Up with Domonic Brown

“Physically and mentally, I’m ready to go. I’d run through a wall right now," Brown says.

Dom, in the heated competition to fill Jayson Werth's cleats, says that he's "ready to win this job." Here are some reasons why Uncle Cholly should give the boy a red rose come opening day—or a butterscotch krimpet, whichever you prefer:

• Husband material! The man's dedicated to his sport. Dom's been kickin' it in Clearwater since December.

• He admits when he's wrong! Brown on the end of last year's season: "I'm not a guy at all to make excuses. I just went down there and played bad."

• He's good at fixing things! He's been working on his swing, mainly on not starting with the bat so high above his head.

• Girly-man no more! Since we saw him last, Dom's bulked up, adding a 10 pound wall of pure muscle to his boyish physique.

What will happen come April 1st? Will Dom Brown win his spot as a starting outfielder through perfecting his swing and running through walls? Or will he find himself alone on his little girly bench? Tune in for an all new season to find out! On right after Cholly Millionaire.

Beverly Hills Cop vs. Midnight Cowboy

Everybody's talkin' about it. With Werth on the Nats next season, who's going to take over in right field? I've read it all. Ben Francisco with hints of Ross Gload? John Mayberry Jr.? That lovable newbie Domonic Brown? The boy did receive a standing ovation from the crowd at CBP prior to his first major league at bat and his later major league strikeouts. (Plus, people really loved him as Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley, a free wheeling Detroit cop that moves to Beverly Hills to investigate his best friend's murder.)

While all of these predictions are reasonable, every Tom, Dick, and Harry that supposedly knows anything about baseball has somehow overlooked the chances that Charlie will bring in his secret weapon. Yes, I'm talkin' about that jack of all trades Roy Oswalt. You know, when he's not busy being an ace (like on this dumb novelty t-shirt). Seriously, people. Rewatch his stint in left field from last season, and try not to think to yourself, "Great, but can he play right field?"

Little Roy ! How unexpected! How magical! I imagine his move from the mound to the outfield and back again would look a lot like this, cowboy Joe Buck's big move in the opening scene of the 1969 film Midnight Cowboy (Harry Nilsson's "Everybody's Talkin'" would definitely be playing):

Ah, to dream big, but let's get real. I can go out into right field and snag fly balls for the Phillies. The real issue is finding someone that's a smart hitter. People keep wondering what we're going to do next season without Jayson Werth's bat. I don't think his loss will be that big of a deal if Jimmy and Chase stay out of the hospital and Ryan Howard tells his boys to get him to the batting cages. Plus, while it's undeniable that Werth's a good power hitter, it should be noted that, like the Phillies last year, especially in the postseason, he had trouble coming through with ducks on the pond.

Right now we're a pitching team with a hitting problem. If we learn how to work the bats this year, the postseason's going to play out in our favor. Until then, let's just hope that we don't have to listen to another Joe Buck give us backhanded compliments when we do win.