Raise the Jolly Roger!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled baseball-less October in Philadelphia to bring you a brief history of the Jolly Roger. No, not the Jolly Rogers, the midwest's favorite pirate-themed Renaissance folk group with such hits as "Beer, Beer, Beer" and "Your Pirate Dad" (though I'm sure most Yinzers and Pittsburgh dads would be into them). The Jolly Roger! That flag Buccos fans raise with a can of IC Light after every win.

While the origins of the term "Jolly Roger" have been lost or are still just hiding from Wikipedia under an X somewhere, two possible explanations are given. The first is that pirates originally used a red flag called "Joli Rouge", meaning "pretty red" in French, but the term was corrupted by English speakers into its more fun form. Another possibility, more in line with the whole skull and crossbones thing, suggests that Jolly Roger comes from the term"Old Roger" for the Devil and probably "pirate flag". According to some old text, "It had in it the Portraiture of Death, with an Hour-Glass in one Hand, and a Dart in the other, striking into a Heart, and three Drops of Blood delineated as falling from it. This Flag they called Old Roger, and us'd to say, They would live and die under it."

As for the Pittsburgh Pirates, who have impressively died under it in the regular season for over two decades, the origins of the team's catchphrase "Raise the Jolly Roger!" are less elusive thanks to the aptly titled Pirates blog, Raise the Jolly Roger. Play-by-play announcer, Greg Brown started saying it after Bob Walk told him he needed a good call in the rare chance the Pirates did something great. Brown said that he wanted to party like it was 1909, the year Pittsburgh won its first World Series, "I told him I didn’t want anything silly or meaningless and that maybe if it involved something related to 'Pirates' that I’d consider it."

The result of Greg Brown's serious desire to celebrate like a pirate: the wonderful "Raise the Jolly Roger!" as well as "Clear the deck, cannonball coming!" every time a Pirate smacks one into the river. (BTW, a big "Cheers to you, matey!" to Pedro Alvarez for breaking up Monday's no-no with that 428-foot cannonball.)
 
Thanks to to Cutch and the gang finally bringing the Pirates over .500 and into the postseason, "Raise the Jolly Roger!" has really taken off. The Buccos started raising an actual Jolly Roger after every win. The dad rock group, Johnny Angel and the Halos, released a "Raise the Jolly Roger!" song. Even Alex Trebek has been in the know!

Maybe all this pirate-themed excitement is due to the fact that Pittsburgh got to raise the Jolly Roger a rare 97 times this year or that this video plays on the Jumbotron before each home game. Either way, thinking the pirate life's for Scoring Position this October has been a lot more fun than whining about the recent Phillies and hating on squirrels. After all, the Buccos are underdogs with a similarly rich history of being losers. Plus, it's really fun to shout "It's grilled cheese time!" whenever Jason Grilli comes in to close.

Only time will tell if the Buccos will get to raise that Jolly Roger once more in a sea of Cardinal red or if they'll be drowning their postseason sorrows in beer, beer, beer.

Dog Days of Baseball

Typical Muts fan

The Phillies hosted their first ever Bark in the Park last night. While I'm not opposed to combining great things like baseball and pooches, the fact that the 66-78 Phillies, 15.5 games back in the Wild Card, now host the promotional bring your dog to the ballpark event seems suggestive of something greater - you know, that we're officially a bad team that fewer fans want to watch implode. How long until they're giving out tickets on packets of hot dogs?

You could have come to the groundbreaking realization that the 2013 Phillies are terrible by tuning in to the 8-2 loss to the Padres, most games played in the past two years, or angry WIP callers, but some of us prefer to live in a cloud of hope. I'm just thankful that there are K-9 specific areas at CBP.  Really terrible teams like the Marlins let 'em roam around the entire place, which I imagine is fun to watch given the dancing marlins on that neon fountain in the outfield. High hopes! Phillies fans should also find solace in things not being as bad as the minors. Camden Riversharks games are often reduced to people chanting "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!" at opposing batters since strikeouts equal free slices at select locations of some pizza shop in Jersey. Be happy that we're not there yet. High hopes!

Even with the new awesome opportunity to be covered in dogs at Phillies games this year, the boys in red pinstripes have been Ruf to watch (to make the same joke that Gregg Murphy has been waiting his entire life to make). Still, bigger questions for the future remain. Where do the Phillies go from here? Is it nowhere but up? Are there more promotional events in our future? Is this the beginning or end of the dog days of Phillies baseball?

Looking up "dog days", the phrase dates back to the ancient Romans and according to some old book, was believed to be an evil time in which "the Sea boiled, the Wine turned sour, Dogs grew mad, and all other creatures became languid; causing to man, among other diseases, burning fevers, hysterics, and phrensies."

I hear that.

May the 19th

"May 19th! I'm tellin' you! May 19th!"

The soothsayer to my left shouted reassuringly in the bottom of the eighth. Arms raised toward the heavens, he told all of Section 113 within earshot, "May 19th is one of the most important days in Philadelphia's history! I was born 49 years ago today! The Flyers won the Stanley Cup in '74! Now the Phillies will come back in improbable fashion! May 19th! May 19th!"

Were these high hopes communicated through the spirit of Harry Kalas or too many birthday beers?

It seemed so improbable! Down 0-2, the game had moved at a doodle-ice-cream-cones-into-the-boxes-of-your-scorecard pace. Dubious skies loomed overheard all afternoon while the Phillies played under the lights. Some crazy guy accosted me in the City Hall tunnel to the Broad Street line on the way to the game, howling, "THE PHILLIES SUCK!!! PHILLIES FANS ARE HORRIBLE!!! AARRRGGGGGHHHH!!! THE PHILLIES ARE THE WORST FRANCHISE!!! THE WORST FRANCHISE EVER!!!"

The juju seemed all fucked up, but was it? Of course it wasn't! Some dude was born in Philadelphia 49 years ago! May 19th! May 19th!

Chase Utley smacked a two-out single to score Ben Revere and bring the Phillies within one in the bottom of the eighth. Double high fives all around! The relief provided actual relief, and then when the going got weird, the pros turned weirder.

Cliff Lee made an awful base-running error in the bottom of the ninth but wore an awesome t-shirt after the game, so whatever. Then it was Holy Kratz with the game-tying (could have been game-winning) solo blast! Turkey bacon for everyone! Our section started chanting "May 19th! May 19th!" and Little Freddy Galvis smashed another solo shot that fell just inside the left field pole. Un-friggin'-believable!

I've spent all day trying to comprehend yesterday's events. Why did Cliff Lee do that? How many times have seven and eight hole hitters gone back-to-back with solo shots for a walk-off win? Who would have predicted that Erick Kratz and Freddy Galvis would be the ones to do it? Against "fire-throwing Aroldis Chapman"?

I still can't wrap my head around it, but two things are clear. Baseball's great, and I'm glad that some rally-cap wearing middle-aged dude was born.

Ryan Howard: I Love You/I Hate You

Ryan Howard, I'll never get over you. It was a chug a tear salted Kenzinger and storm out of the bar type of breakup. Real ugly. The following months were spent off the grid, terrified of running into anything that might remind me of that season-ending moment. And just when I thought I was done caring after a year and a half of cursing your at bats, you did something wonderful that made me forget about all the bad times and think, "Now that is the Ryan Howard I fell in love with!"

Of course I'm talking about that extra innings hit last Sunday against the D-Bags that led the Phillies to a 4-2 win and an astounding 18-21 record. Look out, NL East! And I wasn't the only one swooning. Check out the post-game recap:

It didn’t matter that Howard had been hitless in his previous 18 at-bats, striking out in half of those. No matter that he was facing a pitcher who hadn’t given up a run all season, either. With the game on the line, few players are better than the Phillies’ bashing first baseman.

That seventh inning tie-breaking hit that led to a sweep of the Muts two weeks ago wasn't too shabby either. Still, great Howard moments are often overlooked in the minds of Phils fans because they remain embedded in this context of polarizing plate behavior. For every clutch "get me to the plate, boys" moment, there's a third swing and a miss that feels like heartbreak. For every grand salami, a golden sombrero. It's what makes it all too easy for Phils fans to love or hate the Big Piece. It's also what gives lovers and haters alike the awful feeling of being stood up for a date whenever Howard doesn't come through.

Okay, okay. I just have a lot of feelings. But even though Howard's had his ups and downs, when he's good, he's good. This one's for you, big guy:

 

Oh, I was out without a doubt, oh, I was out...

To Dream the Impossible Dream

I've been thinking in numbers for months now. How many games would the Phillies have to win and the rest of the National League have to lose to make the dream of a wild card less impossible?

Thanks to the Marlins gettin' 'dricked  last night (along with errbody that has faced "Ace 38" lately), the Phillies are now five games back from that one-game wild card showdown at dusk. They've improved to 70-71 after taking 13 of the last 17 and winning their last five.

What's next, you ask? Two more games against Nadine's ex-boyfriend Greg Dobbs and the Tired of Fightin' Fish, a four-game series with the already eliminated Astros, and three games versus the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Muts. Then, it's make-or-break, baby, with the Braves at home. Well, maybe. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared.

While the Phillies have no room for error with a current 1.5 percent chance of making the playoffs, that old Phillies magic has been in the air lately. I sang "High Hopes" in the ballpark twice on Sunday. The doubleheader sweep of the Rockies included both a classic John Mayberry Jr. walk-off and the return of Chooch that, with the help of Phil Collins and his 2-for-2 bat, kept an entire stadium on its feet. One more round of beers, please. High fives all around. How could you not get a little high on Phillies hope? Even Scott Franzke was made a believer during last night's radio broadcast, saying to a hopeful LA, "Well, they've not been mathematically eliminated."

It's not over until it is, or something like that. I'm just happy that the Phillies are one away from being at .500 for the first time since June 4. All they need is:

Too little, too late, or is it? Ain't that what baseball's all about?

You've Got to Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive

The Phillies have finished April second to last in the NL East after going splitsies with the always terrible Chicago Cubs. They are under .500 for the first time since 2007. The losses that comprise their 11-12 record have been described as "morning-after-St.-Patrick's-Day ugly" and have inspired such existential work as "The Phillies' Mediocrity Unique in Readjusted Reality." It's been hard to watch, and even harder to watch without the TV on mute. I don't know how many times I've yelled at Wheels through the TV to, "Just drop it already!" Seriously! What a Negative Nance!

If the lyrics of "High Hopes" have taught me anything, it's that ants, in fact, can move rubber tree plants as long as they're upbeat ants. Sure, it's been an ugly April, but it all hasn't been ugly. Has it? Let's talk positives.

Here's a list of a few things outside of the usual aces that have kept me afloat as a Phillies fan in the Great Depression:

Joe Blanton: It's not just that I can imagine him literally floating in a doughnut tube that's strawberry frosted with sprinkles, Blanton's looked good lately. In his last game against the Cubs, he struck out eight, walked none, and instilled confidence in many. Let's hope that the Happy Joe Blanton emoticon comes out more often than not this year and that Joe gets the second home run of his career sometime soon. :)=

Juan Pierre: It's taken me a while to come around to Juan Pierre, but it's hard to argue against a player that's consistently getting on base when the Phillies need base runners. Sure, they're consistently singles, but they're something. Plus, based on how many times Dolis threw back to first and didn't get Pierre last night, I think he's becoming a little smarter on the base path.

Wigginton-Nix: Okay, so these dudes look like they could show up, beer can in hand, ready to hit it into the next field for your neighborhood bar's softball team. While it's still too early in the season to say whether or not they'll prove more successful than "Buckingham Nicks" as an album or romantic relationship, they have been two of the most productive offensive players on the Phillies to date. You read that right.

Jonathan Papelbon: Like him or hate his alter ego, Papelbon is now tied for the most saves in the National League with Craig Kimbrel of the Braves at eight. While I can't help but cringe every time T-Mac refers to Paps as "Cinco Ocho", I am constantly wowed by the man. This has led to the development of two alternative things to chant after Paps closes a game out: "Papelbon! Papelbon! Papelbon!" inspired by Seinfeld's Izzy Mandelbaum, and "Fuck that shit! Paps Blue Ribbon!" inspired by this scene from Blue Velvet and the fact that it's just damn fun to shout. Try it after number nine!

Freddy Galvis: While he's been great in the field so far, he's struggled with his at bats, mainly because he's young, new to the majors, and still likes swinging at the high ones. Still, if there's any reason to watch the Phillies right now, it's for Freddy Galvis. He's likeable and you want him to succeed. This attitude is best summed up here in which rooting for Galvis is compared to rooting for Squints at the swimming pool. "You put logic aside and yell like hell, even if you think he is out of his league."

Dollar dogs: They still exist! Phew!

Franzke and LA: If T-Mac and Wheels get you more down than the Phillies' lack of hits, just turn on the radio. 1210 on the AM dial's just a few seconds off the TV broadcast. Don't believe it's worth it? Check out this gem!

The Flyers: If the Phillies have got you so down you can't even find solace in listening to LA and Franzke, take a break from the Phillies. Watch some hockey. The last series between the Flyers and Penguins was described as "Yankees-Red Sox, on Ice" and proved to be way more exciting.

Chooch: Chooch just being Chooch always makes it all okay. He's come through big time when the Phillies have needed him most both at and behind the plate. Outside of his two RBIs last night, he had a three RBI, one homer performance on Saturday. Score one for the regulars! Plus, look at how adorable he looks in this suit.

While it doesn't feel like any of the Phillies' awkward parts currently make sense together, I still have high hopes that Cholly-San will figure out a lineup that works. Plus, it has to only be up from here for the Phillies' more likely heroes- J-Roll, Polly, Pence, and even that Flyin' Hawaiin.

It's best not to take it all too seriously. Who would have predicted that the 2008 team would have brought Philadelphia its second World Series? What about the inversely proportional relationship between the Phillies' regular season performance and how far they made it in the playoffs since then? Who knows what's going to happen next? It's too early to tune out.

Chin on the Ground? Gettin' Low? Back to the Wall? Feelin' Bad?

Dear Philadelphia,

Pick your head up. Friday's just around the corner. Game 5 with Doc on the mound- you know, the one in which Doc saves the season. How's that for a storybook ending before a storybook ending before a storybook ending? We have our dreams!

Let's come out swinging. Let's go out swinging too. Pray for no squirrels and more baseball.

High apple pie in the sky hopes,

Lauren and Nadine