I don't really know what to say, so I hope this says it all: CLIFTON!
Clifton "My Dream Dude" Phifer Lee. Three consecutive shut-outs. 33 straight scoreless innings. In the month of June, he's held opponents to a .152 average while batting .250 himself—allowing just one earned run and picking up 2 RBIs.
It's clear that Cliff prefers the National League game (who can forget that game back in May when Charlie had to actually pull Cliff out of the batter's box, because he'd chosen to ignore the fact that he was being taken out for a pinch-hitter?). Watching him pitch to Beckett last night, I could've sworn I caught a glimpse of disdain in Cliff's eyes. Like, dude, how pathetic is it that you let David Ortiz bat for you? I wonder if his multiple displays of badassery against the Yankees in the 2009 World Series (see above) were also due, at least in part, to this sense of superiority over the American League? All I can say is, I'm glad Clifton Phifer Lee would prefer to play in our league. And I'm sure all of Philadelphia would say the same.
Dear Cliff,
Uh, gee. Gosh. Golly. Goddamn. I don't even know. Just, like, THANK YOU for coming back to Philadelphia. Thank you so much.
Love,
Nadine
